Oh, and while I'm thinking of it, Three Imaginary Girls can fuckin' kiss my ass. That passive-aggressive email they sent Sonja was the lamest bitch note I've seen since junior high. To address a message to one particular person and then sign it as an organization is some wussy bullshit. Next time I come up, we're rumbling, fake-ass sisters and brothers!

As a spry young pup of 33, I have absolutely no concept of a "respectable hour" to be home by... is that within two hours of last call? Before dawn?

I was way more "mature and responsible" at 26 than I'll ever be again. I missed out on more cool shit than lots of people even get the chance to experience, and that sucks. Learning to function professionally on little sleep with a hangover is the only true barometer of maturity I'm ever going to acknowledge. To quote Eddie Spaghetti (quoting Roger Miller quoting Kris Kristofferson,) "there's still lots of drinks that I ain't drunk... and there's still so many pretty, lonely girls in this best of all possible worlds." Hell if I'm gonna sleep through it all, on vacation or not!

Of course, after years of proper sleeping habits you're still gonna look young and beautiful well into the future. I shamelessly plan to look like Keith Richards' junkie grandpa before I hit 35. But, hey... that's how you get to do stuff like see Karuna completely own the stage at the Rendezvous, sip a few PBRs, scarf down a hotdog at Shorty's, catch Matt Ashworth's bus with a cab, chat with a pair of Seattle's gnarliest old hookers (shout out to Miss Yolanda!) and then walk all the way to upper Eastlake from Pioneer Square just to enjoy the moonlight on the water.

At least you show up to the functions, Ms. Oliver. New Music Monday should be mandatory for all local Nada staff. Lazy kids! You've got one last year to slack before I come up and show you how it's done.

Awww, man! A VHS mixtape doesn't count?! Have you watched that yet? Email me for the track listing. That Dixie Witch/Suplecs footage at the end is golden, especially considering how fried I was when I filmed it!

Nick Brown has one last treat I made ya back at his crib. He'll probably bring it with him to the Neumo's gig if you call and remind him. Who was that headlining act from Monday night? If there was ever a band to bring Matt B. and the Snizz together in musical harmony, that there were they! Sonja shoulda stuck around a little longer...

It was a pleasure to meet you as well, Sonja. The tired crankiness just made you seem more realistic. Usually when I meet figments of Matt's imagination they're unbelievably jolly and naked and they just seem like a bunch of bullshit he fantasized about in the restroom at work. You were absolutely nothing like those phantom hoochies "Paul Broderson" and "Hal Tiffany".

Too sleepy from flight home. Must sleep now. Still taste "Number Three" dog from Shorty's every time I burp...

I don't know, my brother. You do such a great job pretending to be that Sonja lady (seriously, if that elven temptress in those photos you sent shows up during my visit, claiming to be "Sonja", you will truly be the supreme god of pranks in my crazy little universe!) that I don't know what to think anymore.

I wouldn't believe in the Snizz either... but who the hell could invent a character like that? Not you, pal. Email me the secret location of the Exclusive Nada Editors' Trivia Cocktail Orgy this week and I'll be there. See ya soon!

Well, she's sweet to mention the blessed event, but I don't know about that uncertainty Tizzy has about other people's newborns being cute. Despite the fact that Iris looks a lot like her goofy old pop, the pictures Ashworth sent me show quite the pretty young lady.

"Tizzy Asher"? Is that another goddamned Matt Ashworth persona? That name cannot be real... See y'all in a couple days!

I like bendy straws too.

On Wednesday at around 2 P.M., I'm gonna be getting off the jet, throwing my head back and howling the most primal howl Sea-Tac's ever hosted. I haven't been tan, healthy and single in the Northwest since the days when most of your Nada staff were still in Hammer pants! I'm gonna be looking for Mac and Jack's Liquid Crack (African Amber... can't get it in Tucson,) flexible and available women who aren't too shy to pinch back, and an overall funky good time. And lots of live music from Seattle bands who don't suck.

I dig babies too. Maybe we can get some strollers and take Iris and Laney and Joe Vallejos over to Woodland Park to pet the goats!

What night's good for you? I can't wait to pinch you and make sure you're real!

( :twisted:... )

Belated congratulations, Matt and Sybil! Don't forget that babies need Beatles. Beatles Beatles Beatles. That stuff about Mozart making kids smart is a load of yuppie crap. Rubber Soul and Revolver turn children into the kind of people with whom you can have long, intelligent conversations about music.

I'll be in town on July the 14th. I'm going to Springfield, OR with my dad for his 40th high school reunion that weekend, but I'll be hanging around Seattle through the 21st. Please note that I'll have all of those fabled mix CDs that I never get around to mailing...

Love to Baby ILAR. Avoid playing her lots of Velvet Underground right now... unless you want her to turn out like me!