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: just for laughs : danica180 September 29, 2006, 08:33:17 AM New Job
Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I'll be parked around the corner." She's standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, "How much?" She says, "A hundred dollars." He says, "All I got is thirty". She says, "Hold on," and runs back to Harry and asks, "What can he get for thirty?" "A hand job", Harry reply. She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollar is a hand job. He agrees. She gets in the car. He unzips his pants, and out pops this HUGE ...... She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back." She runs back to Harry, and asks, "Can you loan this guy seventy bucks?" ;D ___________________________________________________________________________ lasik eye surgery ny (http://lasikeyesurgerynyhu.com) fatal car accident (http://fatalcaraccidentqo.com) land equity loans (http://belandequityloans.com) : Re: just for laughs : danica180 October 06, 2006, 05:22:01 AM Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country.
Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too. Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory. Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. _______________________________________________________________________ los angeles lasik eye (http://losangeleslasikeye.com) car accident texas (http://caraccidenttexasjh.com) equity loans home (http://beequityloanshome.com) : Re: just for laughs : danica180 October 07, 2006, 02:48:46 AM Bumper stickers 01
I love animals, they taste great. EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later. "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes." Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. He who laughs last thinks slowest! Give me ambiguity or give me something else. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. ----------------------------------------------------------- pennsylvania defective product attorney (http://pennsylvaniadefectiveproductattorney.com) canadian insurance quotes (http://ercanadianinsurancequotes.com) credit card debt consolidate (http://creditcarddebtconsolidatesj.com) : marketing101 : danica180 October 10, 2006, 03:27:28 AM You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed." That's Advertising. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Telemarketing. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Public Relations. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." That's Brand Recognition. _________________________________________________ home owner insurance company (http://bshomeownerinsurancecompany.com) defective siding (http://defectivesidingxj.com) instant term life insurance (http://instanttermlifeinsurancebn.com) : Magic Mirror : danica180 October 11, 2006, 02:03:54 AM Magic Mirror
There's a bonde a brunet and a redhead and they found a magic mirror. The mirror told them that they he would grant each of them one wish. So the brunet walks up to the mirror and sais "mirror mirror on the wall, i wish...i could fly. So the brunet started to fly. Then the redhead walks up to the mirror and sais "mirror mirror on the wall, i wish...i could sing beautifully. So the redhead started to sind. Next the blonde walks upo and sais "mirror mirror on the wall, i wish...i could...ummmm...oh crap! ;D __________________________________ accident lawyers california (http://accidentlawyerscaliforniahc.com) mobile homeowners insurance (http://ragmobilehomeownersinsurance.com) texas mortgage refinance (http://onwtexasmortgagerefinance.com) : Re: just for laughs : danica180 October 16, 2006, 03:02:49 AM Santa Claus joke
Shaves head and beard, then insists on being called "Santa Kurtz." Tells kids about the comparative kill ratio of the AK-47 over the Daisy Air Rifle. Those nasty chewing tobacco streaks in his beard. Has a complimentary tray of North Pole "Tundra Oysters" ready for the toddlers. After every child's request, asks, "Wouldn't you rather have a nice big bag of clams?" The twinkle in his eye and the twitch of his nose are due to a lack of medication. Every so often, snaps into a Slim Jim and growls, "You've been bad and now you're going down, punk!" Actually enjoys it when small children urinate on his lap. Promises children O.J. will be cleared of all wrongdoing. Caught drinking red wine with fish during break. "Hey kid, bet I can wet my pants faster than you can!" Insists on blowing his nose in children's hair. Despite massive photographic evidence to the contrary, claims to have never worn white gloves or shiny black boots. That snowy beard? Nothin' but nose hair. Answers every child's toy request with "Dream on, PeeWee!" When a child wets on his lap, he returns the favor. Instead of a candy cane, gives each kid a pack of Marlboros and a homemade venison pie. While it's admittedly a nifty trick, blowing smoke rings out of his tracheotomy hole is just scaring the hell out of the kiddies ___________________________ term life insurance no (http://termlifeinsuranceno.com) ppa lawyers new haven (http://ppalawyersnewhaven.com) motorcycle insurance quotes (http://vsmotorcycleinsurancequotes.com) : peanuts : danica180 October 17, 2006, 02:10:29 AM one day, a bus driver was offered a handfull of peanuts by an old lady, which he gratefully munched up.
the old lady repeatedly gave peanuts to the driver eight more times but on the 9th time, the driver asked the old lady why she didn't eat the peanuts herself. the old lady replied that it was not possible because she had no teeth. why then do you buy hem?? (asked the driver, puzzled) the old lady answered: "i just love the chocolate around them!" ____________________________ insurance term life (http://insurancetermlifeue.com) personal injury lawyers new york (http://smpersonalinjurylawyersnewyork.com) auto insurance quotes (http://autoinsurancequotescm.com) : fact : danica180 October 17, 2006, 02:13:12 AM when
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