Nada Mucho

Correspondencia: July 1999

Posted by October 11th, 2003 1 Comment »

Feedback From Our Beloved Readers
July 1999

Friday, July 23
From: Jesus M. Medina []

First, I must share something with you.

Since you seem to be more culturally aware than other ‘ass kissing’ sites on cinema, I’m surprised that you have done this.

(The only culture that I’m aware of starts with the World Wrestling Foundation and ends with a tall can of Bud, chico. – GB)

You have put a sleepy Mexican as a logo of NADA MUCHO site.

Mexicans were insulted as ‘lazy Mexicans’, or ‘lazy spics’ for our laid back lifestyle. Indeed, as I have instructed many of my American friends, its not so much that we’re lazy, as we enjoy the little moments in life. Something many Americans have seem to have forgotten to do.

(Mr. Haysoos, I agree wholeheartedly with your point that Americans would benefit from leavening their materialistic, clock-driven lifestyles with a bit of the Hispanic “manana” attitude. For instance, Nada Mucho Staff Mexican Joe Vallejos is far from lazy, although he is a worthless drunkard. I myself am much lazier than any Mexican I’ve ever met.

However, I feel compelled to correct you on one point. The logo in question is not, as you assumed, a “sleepy Mexican”. In reality, the logo is an albino Kosovar transsexual who has just been tortured and finally murdered by rampaging Serbs. Frankly, I’m appalled by your blatant stereotyping. Why do you assume that a seated figure wearing a large hat is a “sleepy Mexican”? The figure in question contains no distinguishing racial characteristics. Perhaps you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself, mi amigo.)

NADA MUCHO, means of course NOT MUCH, but is of course incorrect Spanish. It is a joke of course, a humorous take on Spanish, and as such its welcome, it is the ugliness of the little graphic that its surprising as well as annoying.

(I forwarded your concerns about the logo’s aesthetic appeal to our in-house graphic designer, Mark Watters. Upon hearing your opinion, Mr. Watters started sobbing. He suddenly shouted, “Fuck, I’ve never done anything right in my whole fucking life”, and leapt to his death from Nada’s 50th story suite in Two Union Square. His blood is on your hands, Jose.)

As for your reviews. They are interesting, but they are also spoilers. I had to stop half way through RUN LOLA RUN, because it began to tell me the polot and I had not seen it. You might suggest your writers, to read the critics in your local papers, to learn how to criticize without giving away the plot.

(Good point. While we’re checking the local papers we’ll also try to pick up a few pointers on not saying anything remotely interesting. Seriously though, that’s a valid criticism and it’s duly noted. Thanks, compadre.)

Its a pitty that your site has such discrepancies. Since I doubt you are sensitive enough to change your silly graphic, I will have no choice but to never visit your site again, and will of course, bad mouth it at every oportunity because of the facts stated above.

(Come on, Paco. If you think our logo is offensive check out what one of our racist assholes wrote about in Lawyers, Guns and Money about the Makah Indians. Because we at Nada Mucho value cultural diversity and believe that “it takes a village of millions to fuck up a child”, we will respect your sensitivities by changing our logo to a drunken white man having sex with his niece in their trailer.)

That is all I have to say.

– Jesus M. Medina


Wednesday, July 21

matt!!!!!!!! i loved your review of yoyoagogo99. everything was so accurate, funny, and true. . . hahahaha yeah, whos single on the nadamucho staff??! ok thats all.

love, sara

(Sarah, Give me some sugar baby. – Matt)


July 20, 1999

I liked your (YoYo) coverage. It was interesting to see someone else’s take on things after writing about it all week. I think I spent a little less time at The Reef than you did, from the sound of it 🙂

I believe that the K.O. and Michiko from IQU are actually from Hawaii, not Japan, if I remember right. You did miss out by not seeing The KG, but I missed some bands I shouldn’t have (like Timonium) so there you go. The Evaporators were not the special guest — they were unable to play due to illness.

I had the same exact reaction to the beginning of Quasi’s “Paint it Black” cover — I thought Sam was just goofing until Janet came in, and then I flipped. 🙂

I finished my updates up the Sunday, and did a wrapup. I moved the URL, but there’s a redirect so the old one works, too:

See Ya,

Rich Burroughs

(Cool site man. I’ll tell other YoYo’ers to check you out. – Matt)


July 15, 1999

I found you when doing a search for YoYoaGoGo. The reason for my interest in YoYo is that my daughter is performing there Thursday night. Her name is Rachel Carns and she plays in The Need. She used to perform with Tae Won Yu in Kicking Giant when KJ first began and she and Tae were students at Cooper Union in NYC. (In her pre-Oly days!) You MUST look her up for an interview. I think she’s the GREATEST….but >then, I’m her Mom! 😉

I’ll watch your site for more perceptions of YoYo, etc.

Sharon Carns
Richard T. and Sharon Carns

(The Need performance was great. Rachel is one hell of a drummer. – Matt)


July 18, 1999

Subject: Rachel Carns & Rock Opera 2000

Matty: Just read your report from Day 3. If you have time to interview Rachel Carns of The Need before YoYo festivities end, be SURE to inquire about their rock opera project they are working on to present in Olympia sometime in 2000. I think your online audience would appreciate knowing about this ambitious project.

Sharon Carns

(Is there any chance at all that this rock opera is a reworking of Margaret Wise Brown’s classic children’s book Goodnight Moon as filtered through the twisted imagination of popular recording artist Glenn Danzing? If so, when do tickets become available? – Gabe)


July 15, 1999

Comments: this magazine satiefies my driving need to find something offensive on the internet. the Gays for Jesus fists of fudge ream-a thon from a previous issue (May Horoscpes) dropped my jaw!!!! i am a gay man and found that hilarious. is this sean oliver guy gay? what does he look like? is he single?? where do i find pictures of you freaks? i want to hear more from that jerry lee guy. his review of Run,Lola,Run was excellent.


(Dear Anonymous, before I answer your further questions it is my unpleasant responsibility to suggest that your correspondence indicates an unhealthy degree of self-loathing. To cope with your poor self-image I would suggest either therapy or alcoholism.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, I regret to inform you that Sean Oliver is not gay. How do I know? Well, the other week I was fucking Sean up the ass. Out of common courtesy, I started to give him a reacharound. Jackass turns around and says to me, “What do you think I am, some kind of faggot?”

Sean Oliver looks like a cross between Jon Lovitz and Kim Carnes.

Shockingly, Sean Oliver has a lovely girlfriend.

As for Jerry Lee, we were considering featuring his fine reviews much more prominently. However, due to your praise of his work we’ve changed our collective mind. By midnight tomorrow Jerry Lee will be living in a trailer in South Dakota, vainly trying to eat a Swanson’s Turkey Dinner with his three remaining fingers. – Gabe)


July 14, 1999

Comments: Is Sean Oliver really as hot as he sounds? Do you think he’d pose nude for my art class?

(Yes and yes. – Matt)


July 8, 1999

Jerry Lee: What’s wrong with Charlie Sheen Videos? ha ha

James from UWT

(The problem is his feet. His fucking feet. – Gabe)


July 1, 1999

Subject: Comment about Nada Mucho

What’s better than getting 1st place in Special Olympics? Not being a RETARD.


(I am highly offended by your insensitivity. – Matt)


July 5, 1999


Dear Mr. Baker, In response to your article about Mumia…Your in-laws don’t think the people of the Northwest are horrible….just a little weird. Excellent article by-the-way


(Thanks for your kind words. However, we’ll see if you still have the same charitable attitude towards the Northwest after Abby informs you that she is now a vegan lesbian with multiple body piercings, unshaven armpits, and a newly discovered talent for penning witty protest slogans. At a rally protesting an outdated law banning the sale of “marital aids”, she unveiled her latest gem chanting, “Hater, hater, hater, hater, you should be a maturbator!” – Gabe) 


June 22, 1999

Subject: Why smoke

I like the contrast of my soft and warm moistened lips, gently enclosed around a delicatly wrapped cylindrical object, filled with a parched existence of what once drunk eminently from the cup of life. Like an oasis, I water the sand of it’s desert roots. I like to smoke because it exemplifies the delicacy of oragami, the esoteric wisdom of geometry, the smooth inhale of life and lust, and the exhale of bewildering contemplation.

..I got a little carried away.

(Your message left me a bit confused, yet oddly aroused. – Gabe)


June 5, 1999

Thank you very much for your review of I will add a link to NM from our site.


Ron Damiani


May 26, 1999

As far as chick-flicks go, Shakespeare in Love was a damn good movie. Well written, funny, great acting, and the historical perspective was refreshing.



May 23, 1999

Subj: nicotine need

(On the “Reasons to Smoke” feature)

Once nicely put by (Nada Webmaster Mark) Watters, since I am twice as likely to die from second hand smoke, I might as well start first hand smoking and decrease my chances.

James Heinle

(Watters denies any knowledge of ever making such a comment. – Ed)


May 22, 1999

Great article on the best metal albums of the 80’s. It reminded me of the days when I actually got laid for free, listening to the sounds of Out of the Cellar by Ratt and Night Songs by Cinderella. Life was good cruising down 4th Ave in Olympia and cranking up “Girls, Girls, Girls” in my ’79 Camaro. All this reminiscing makes me want to get a case of Oly stubbies, put on my Def Leopard British Flag shirt, pick up some nasty rocker bitch, and head up to Priest Point Park……Wait…..I’m still doing that……..



May 21, 1999

Reasons why I smoke:
1. Smoking is glamorous.
2. 2nd-hand smoke is linked to 2nd-hand coolness.

Chris Boley


May 17, 1999

This is a totally awesome website. I told Donald about it and he flipped out
radically man. From now on dude I’m a faithful reader of this jive shit.



One thought on “Correspondencia: July 1999

  1. jay says:

    This was a long time ago. From my kindle fire.

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