Nada Mucho

Correspondencia: November/December 1999

Posted by October 15th, 2003 No Comments »

Feedback From Our Loyal Readers
November/December 1999

December 16

Dear Nada,

Day number five in Japan… Still alive guys, however the hangovers aren’t that frequent yet… Stay tuned in though… The word is already being spread about Nada here and i think that people here will be on Nada crack after a while… Faith is on it’s way my friends!!!! So the reason i communicate today is that i told matty that i went to this concert of a group called “Dreams Come True”… Matt and I have listened to them before, but you have to ask him if he liked them or not… Anyhow… I think it was the best concert I had ever been to in my life!!! they didn’t need no opening act… Niggas just came on stage and gave it they’re all for three hours…. i say again… three hours!!!… I stress this question to you all… how many fucking bands do you know can jump on a million dollar stage for three hours and make the audience feel every fucking song?.. No MC!!! They busted shit out by themselves man… Dancers? Ha!.. They had niggas on roller blades an d shit doing tricks and at the end of some songs… They just got mid-evil on fools with the stage… light show from hell… female dancers that make you want to find gaisha girls right after the show… I tried to hook up on the photo tip for Nada, but they confiscated my shit at the entrance with that no camera shit… Bastards!!! Anyhow I have to go, but when i get back to the U.S.(Tracy- If you read this… thats jan. 4th for you!!!)i’ll give matty a more detailed account of the concert….

Fred Gary

(Frederick, sounds like quite the stage show. For the record, I thought the Dreams Come True stuff you played me sucked. Have fun and spread the gospel of Nada to all those Japanese people. – MA)

December 15

How could you not like All Shook Down?

-An Offended Replacements Fan

(I love All Shook Down more than anyone really should. – GB)

December 14

Re: “The world is not enough” review by Mr.Todd Bunker. I am having a hard time believing that his mother said those things. Especially how he “Shit his pants”. I know his mother and I doubt if she would curse on tape, or at all for that matter. Tell me the truth Bunker!

Casey Wagner

(Casey, you’ve obviously never been around Mrs. Bunker when she drinks. – MA)

December 14

Comments: is that “brendan o’brian the producer?”

(That’s “Brendan O’Brien,” the writer. And it’s “Mr.” Brendan O’Brien to you. – MA)

December 14

Comments: newt rocks!


(Pop Rocks! – GB)

December 14

Comments: I didn’t think of seeing this movie until I read Jerry’s well Written and convincing review. It’s on my list of “must see’s” now!


(S, put The Bachelor on your list too. I heard it rocks. – MA)

December 14

Your site seems a bit too meanstream for me. Didn’t say I’m a kind of underground person, don’t get me wrong, but there’s too much things that I don’t want to hear about……see……….. Nice try anyway


(Chances of me wanting to eat my own poop rather than have a conversation with Val: 88 percent. – GB)

December 3

Re: Gabe Baker’s “Man on the Street Coverage”

Oh my lord, that has to be one of the funniest damn things I have ever read in this thing… This by far makes up for your debacle with the all time favoriteTV shows thingy… I am again a loyal reader..


Orange County, CA

(Thanks, bud. I think you just saved my job. If you ever need someone to file a subpoena dueces tecum for you, give me a call. – GB)

December 11


i was talking to my father and he loved the site, but then the guy starts getting o me for not ahving any old school on the site…. But what matty and I talked about was something to do with war movies, but my recollection of that conversation was limited due to the amount of pot. Sorry I`m not drug free fellas…. just thought i would drop a line to you all now that I`m in Japan!!… And Tracy…. i don`t know if you remember me or not, but we have to talk about things soon…. -F. Gary

P.S. There can be only one… Happy Holidays….

(Fred, Tracy says she “definitely” remembers you and looks forward to talking to you. – MA)

December 1

Yes, I would like to know. who is single on the Nada Mucho staff?


(BTW: There are several eligible bachelors and bachelorettes among the Nada Mucho staff. Among them are Tracy Guza, Paul Broderson, Mark Watters, and Jerry Lee. All can be reached via the feedback link on our homepage. If you are interested in dating Editor-in-Chief Matt Ashworth, however, you’ll need to send three color photos to the Nada Mucho headquarters in Seattle; one in a bikini, one in an evening gown, and one is a slutty little catholic-schoolgirl uniform. Pictures are to be accompanied by a one hundred-page essay entitled “Why I want to date Matt Ashworth.” Good luck, you’ll need it. – GB)

December 1

NadaMucho’s WTO coverage has been pretty funny. Actually living in a DMZ, on the other hand, has not.


Matthew Parker

(Matt, you are in a band. – GB; Matt, my name is Matt too. – MA)

November 30

The WTO coverage was superb. Thanks for the report


(Matt, stop it. Forging complimentary emails is cute, but I’m still quitting Nada, unless the staff’s attacks on Alanis Morrisette stop for good. “ – GB)

November 30

This is for the review jerry lewis wrote on the arsonists album… what the fuck is wrong with you ,u obviously dont listen to hip hop of the most skillful groups and they lack creativity????u are crazy…you guys should get someone involved in the music to review these albums..cause this guy really doesn’t have a clue!


(Anonymous, I was not aware that skill and creativity were synonymous. Nor was I aware that music critics should be “involved in the music” to the point that their objectivity suffers. Nor was I aware that Staff Writer Jerry Lee does not have a clue about hip-hop. In light of this profound new information we’ll revamp the review immediately. Thanks so much. –  MA)

November 24

What the hell is up with that list not having Ally McBeal?


(John, the fact that you like Ally McBeal is mildly amusing. That you think it’s one of the best programs of the 90’s is somewhat odd. But that you took time out of your day to write us, and inquire about the show’s inclusion, well, that’s downright scary. – MA)

November 23

Ash- How the hell are you? It’s been a long time. I came across your site through somebody’s reply. Anyways, looks like you finally did it. Congrats!


(Thanks, Slagle. Keep reading, and tell everyone you know about us. If you don’t, I’ll find out where you live, then send one of Nada Mucho’s “body guards” over, with instructions to tie you up, and beat you with bag full of oranges until your face is a bloody mess. – MA)

November 23

Once again Matt, I just wanted to say how much I enjoy Nada Mucho. It’s probably the best Internet entertainment zine around.

Matt Ashworth, Nada Mucho Editor in Chief

(Matt, thanks, and keep up the good work. – MA)

November 23

John’s review of the old Dirty Cd was on point if you know what i mean. however if Old Dirty can make a alblum…. then we shall all smoke up the chalk and make an alblum… Did i not tell you that i think this n**ga is crazy?… Ask me what i think of Old Dirty at the next Nada meetig in which I’m drunk, high, and just be happening to sneak off into matty’s bathroom in order to get on my knees to pray to that toilet god that we all love so much… i can assure you I’ll tell you that ODB is a musical genius… So would any of us in that state of mind… On a more serious note, you all seem to have a lot of good ideas and you direction seems posotive… i can’t wait until this shit blows up!!!!!

There can be only one…. Fred Gary

(The world could not handle more than one Fred Gary. – MA)

Monday, Nov. 22, 1999

Re: Your top TV Shows thingy

Have you guys been smoking that Tijuana dirt weed?? Jesucristo, you people need aslappin’ upside your bitch-ass heads!! You forgot to include TWO great television shows in your list, and you are probably gonna kick your own asses when you realize you forgot them…

How in the HELL could you not have include MARRIED.. WITH CHILDREN in your top TV shows of the 1990’s?? Sure it started in 1987, but it lasted for 10 GODDAMNED YEARS.. This program elevated Al Bundy to the status of Working-Class GOD and hero to millions…. You should be ASHAMED! The only reasons I can think of to why you left MWC off your list are:

you all are French

you all don’t like beer

you all don’t like breasts

Also, you forgot to include IN LIVING COLOR on your list… ARE YOU GUYS INSANE?? Three words for you: FIRE MARSHALL BILL!! At its peak, this was THE funniest show on television… They didn’t care who they pissed off, and they seemed to make fun of EVERYONE, which was totally awesome! Needless to say, I am shocked and appalled..

I used to like your little e-zine thingy here, but now I have lost all respect for you.. This is BLASPHEMOUS and you are all gonna rot in HELL with all of Satan’s minions (like the “where’s the beef” lady, Frank Sinatra and Elvis).. I think you owe your dozens and dozens of loyal readers an apology to the heinous mistakes you have made… You even recognized such vapid, inane, and unentertaining TRASH such as THE REAL WORLD, FELICITY and PARTY OF FIVE… For chrissakes, I didn’t think anyone could stoop so low…

I wish I could write more, but I am wasting company time writing this diatribe… YOU WILL HEAR FROM ME AGAIN!

Lick My Butthole,

Adam F. Shame

Orange County, CA

(Whatever. – GB)

November 18

I would have to say John Brogger is a brave man finding the courage to review the new Ol Dirty Bastard aka Big Baby Jesus album, and give it a glowing review to boot. Well done John!


(Brave? Courage? What are you talking about? I wasn’t aware John received death threats from Ol Ditry over this review. This changes everything. John gets a raise. – MA)

November 16

I realize I have mistakenly accused you all of stealing my Michael Jackson CD and hat. I apologize to all of you except for Mark because he is a lying bastard.

P.S. Gabe I stole your porno tape.


(For the record, I have your Ash and Nada Surf CD’s, your original copies of True Romance, Pretty in Pink, and the 100 Greatest Cartoons of all time, as well as two videos containing The Fifth Element, Juice, Varsity Blues, LA Confidential, and Highlander recorded off of cable. I also stole back the pornographic video tape Jinx, which was originally Eric Peterson’s, but was stolen by Jason Dalberg. Mark Watters stole it from him, then Gabe Baker stole it from Mark. I stole it from Gabe before you stole it from me. – MA)

November 14

I’ve been reading now and again for over a year and I must say you guys have really come a long way. Great job and keep up the good work.

Bill S

(Thanks Bill. It’s funny you mention how Nada’s “come a long way”. The other night we were stone cold chillin’ when that song “Praise You” by Fatboy Slim came on The Box. Well, the whole Nada staff was there, and we all started dancing and singing. And you know that part where he goes, “We’ve come a long, long way together”? Well, at that part me and Matt were both singing it, and feeling it, and just loving it, and our eyes met, and we sang the line at the same time, and we both totally just knew that we were singing about Nada. – GB)

November 12

You guys do realize you sound like a bunch of snotty, smart-mouthed dicks on all those lists you do, right?

Amanda Felcher

(Yes. – MA)

November 10

What’s the deal with this intern. he don’t seem to really fit with the rest of y’all.


(No ma, he shu don’t. – MA)

November 5

Does Nada Mucho have any job openings? I am an amateur writer whose done some freelance work for a few Portland weeklies. I have 8 years clerical experience and am willing to work hard.

Wanda Peterson

Lake Gresham, Oregon

(Wanda, thanks for your interest. Current job openings at Nada include: Janitor, Editor-in-Chief, Senior Executive Slut, and, tragically, Typist. Although none of these positions are salaried, benefits include: verbal abuse, feet, free promotional CDs, and sexual harassment. Please contact our newly appointed Human Resources Director Paul Broderson for more information. – GB)

November 1

When are you going to get some pictures of naked women???


(There are currently more than 72 pictures of naked women, men, and oxen hidden in various locations around the site. All links to pornography are invisible. If you are not familiar with invisible links, the proper procedure is to slowly trace your cursor over every inch of every page of Nada Mucho. When your cursor touches an invisible link, the page name will appear in the bottom of your browser. Happy Masturbating! – GB)

November 1

Hey when are you guys going to have new feedback up??


(Dear anonymous, Nada Mucho’s policy is to respond to inquiries of this nature within four working days. However, when you fail to write your email address in to the feedback form, adhering to said policy becomes difficult. So to answer your question, “today.” – MA)

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