Nada Mucho

Correspondencia: October 1999

Posted by November 1st, 1999 No Comments »

Feedback From Our Loyal Readers
September/October 1999
By Nada Staff

Oct. 28, 1999
I read both reviews written by Caleb and Sarah Baker and laughed until I cried when I got to the story of Ben’s boss telling him to “yell inwardly.” Where does Bed Mean work, anyway? I don’t care what the Rev says, I will turn tail and run (screaming maniacally, mind you) from any movie starring Bruce Willis. He is a “grade-A moron.” – A Rose-Wagler – Seattle, WA

(Dear Mrs. A-Rose-Wagler-Seattle-WA: That was indeed a funny story from Ben. I think he works in a sprocket factory, supervising the bathing of the 12-year-old brown-skinned children from whose intestines the sprockets are produced. But enough of the Willis bashing. Nada Mucho has received at least two emails in the last three years berating Bruce. The next Willis-basher gets the Old Chinese Porcupine, if you know what I mean. And as for you, Mrs. A-Rose-Wagler-Seattle-WA, keep in mind that I know where you live. – GB)

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Oct. 21, 1999
Dear Nada Mucho

I love your Online Zine and look very forward to our interview appearring. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed doing it.

GINGER COYOTE
http//:www.whitetrashdebutantes.com

(Thanks Ginger. I forgot to mention during the interview, that sometimes I pull my blankets up over my head like a fort and just fart all day. Do you ever do that? – MA)

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October 20, 1999
Sometimes people just don’t realize how good they have it when they can just click and reach a nice tasty website like nadamucho.com….. However instead they would rather attempt to insult the guys who put this together….Hence, When’s the last time you were laid? If you morons out there want to talk your trash about Matty Matt…. Have you ever seen him? I guess not because then you people wouldn’t talk trash… How many people do you know can break trees over your head and not even wake you up to apologize? Believe me…. I’m not living on this guys balls or anything, but which finger points toward the assholes now?……..

-There can be only one Fred Gary

(Rather than commenting on this one, I encourage all readers to read this note again, slowly. This, my friends, is a model piece of feedback. A hunk of the finest cheese for whoever can reveal the true identity of Fred Gary! To summarize: “Which finger points toward the assholes now?” Perfect. – GB)

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Wednesday, Oct. 13, 1999

Hi Joe,

Check out the “Jet City Swingers” they play the 2218 every Tuesday night. http://www.ponyboyrecords.com/files/pony_boy/pony_index.html

(Will do. Do they sound at all like Kyuss or Skid Row, cause those are two of my favorite bands ever. – JV)

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Oct. 13, 1999

I really like the top 107.7 breakdown I laughed out loud and made people scowl at me! Mark

Mark Rentfrow
rentfrow@amazon.com

(“Scowl”. Everyone say it out loud, “SCOWL!”. Makes you giggle, doesn’t it? – GB)

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Oct. 12, 1999
Nada,

I checked out the web site bros….. I thought it was so fat….I actually got kicked out of the computer lab after numerous times of being told to be quit…. “Don’t disrupt my fun”, i replied. However the guy wanted to be on his elemental high-horsey and he told me to leave….I laughed right in his face when I left…..

Frederick Gary
f_binky@yahoo.com

(Fuck yeah, dude! Fight the power! I like the positive feedback, but we at Nada do not appreciate being referred to as “fat”. If you had any sensitivity at all you would know that “fat” is an offensive adjective, and should never be used in polite conversation. We prefer either “bountifully proportioned” or “huge lard- asses”. – GB)

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Oct. 8, 1999

TV sucks, but I sure like Tracy’s stufF!

Jer

(Thanks for writing, Jer. Four things:

1) Rumor has it a certain special Nada staffer likes Tracy’s “stuff” too! Wink wink!
2) Did Tracy by chance pay you to send this note? Just checking.
3) Yeah, TV is really horrible huh? All those flashing pictures and sounds and music and information piped straight in to your home 24 hours a day. That sure sucks. Maybe you should go play chess at a coffee shop. It would be so much more fulfilling.
4) Is Jer short for Jerry? I thought so. You scoundrel you! – MA)

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Sept 29, 1999
Dear Matt,

I love Nada Mucho. It’s so great.

Matt Ashworth, Nada Mucho editor in chief

(Matt, Thanks for the words of encouragement. That really means a lot to me. – MA)

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Thu, 23 Sep 99

Is that guy Chris single? He’s a hottie! I can tell by the bulge in his pants that he is the ONE for me. Does he like Indian girls with pierced nipples?

Love, Tilickem

(I am sorry to inform you that staff writer Chris Allsion is happily married, his third such union. (Keep your fingers crossed, third time’s a charm!!!!). Strange you should ask, as his beautiful wife is an Indian girl named “she-who-has-pierced-nipples-and-also-brings-fire-to-the-village-and-sometimes-runs-with-the-deer.” She doesn’t have her nipples pierced though. 🙁 – MA)

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Thu, 23 Sep 99

“Nada Mucho world domination” that’s awsome…….. I’ll have to say, your little Nada project all yall have going on could be big with the right connections. I can see it.

By the way, I like those apples a lot.

Todd Christen
Christen, Todd M
Todd.Christen@PSS.Boeing.com

(Dear Todd: If I ever hear you say “all ya’all” in person I will eat my own feet. I’ve missed you. Are you and your “partner” getting along now, or are you still fighting over who gets to “lift” and who gets to “spot”? – MW )

Dear Readers: Todd likes to get lots of emails while he diligently works to improve the flow of catalytic converters on the Boeing 999 assembly line. He especially likes pictures of animals copulating. Contact him at Todd.M.Christen@Boeing.com.

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Thu, 23 Sep 99

Comments: Uh, sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings…but what’s this Singleton’s greatest work stuff for “The Usual Suspects”? Huh? You trying to front here? Hm? It was not written, nor directed, nor sneezed nor coughed nor spittled out of Singleton. But rather, directed by Brian Singer, and if that’s what you meant…you are truly uneducated, and I couldn’t even get through the list because of this discrepancy. Oh, and it wasn’t good storytelling either.

And I can’t believe you didn’t put “It Takes Two” on the list! Come on guys tell me that wasn’t a classic!

Go back to manufacturing Cheeze Whiz and Sperm in a Can.

And stay out of my Blue’s Clues collection!

And if you’re going to abuse me…you know, put me in that little feedback column where you harass everyone and stuff? Listen. I’ve suffered through 7 Police Academy movies, and Halloween Water. So, give me your worst. As long as you don’t mention my goiter. Please don’t mention my goiter.

Thank you.

this has been a complete waste of time

krymestone@aol.com

(Dear Krymestone: As much as I would like to “harass” you and “stuff”, I just don’t have time right now because I’ve got to get back to flogging the Nada intern who screwed up The Usual Suspects blurb. She looks so cute with her hands tied behind her back. – MW)

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Tue, 21 Sep 99 19:56PM

Nada mucho in Spanish means “swims a lot.” Is that what you had in mind?

Servando Gonzalez

servando@earthlink.net

(No. – GB)

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Tue, 21 Sep 99 14:09PM PDT

You should do something with my band WHITE TRASH DEBUTANTES

Ginger Coyote

Gincoyote@aol.com

(I can think of lots of things I’d like to do with WHITE TRASH DEBUTANTES. – MA)

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Tue, 21 Sep 99

if you like OSP you should check out this band “the violet burning” they played with the OSP’s in L.A. last year and both bands were great…their site is  HYPERLINK http://www.thevioletburning.com www.thevioletburning.com

best
michael
MJPRITZL1@aol.com

(Michael, thanks for the tip. Do you think that maybe “The Violent Burrowing” is a better name than “the violet burning”? I do. – GB)

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Sept. 21, 1999

ALL the articles pissed me off, and I liked it.

Anonymous

(That is the correct attitude. All you little bitches will take it, and you will fucking like it. – MW)

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Septmember 20, 1999

Show some respect. . .. . what about a little Tori Amos?

Anonymous

(What about a little Tori Amos?!? What about a BIG HUGE GIGANTIC Tori Amos?!?!  – GB)

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Sept. 19, 1999

I first and foremost am very concerned that you received my name from a credit card company. Futhermore, my e-mail address is to be used for business in the hospital only. I only carry one credit card for emergency use only and have a few from department stores. I would like to know which credit card company released my name to you, and how you in turn got my e-mail address. Prompt response to this matter is greatly appreciated.

Tonya

(Dear Tonya: We received your name from Mervyn’s department store credit card department. We didn’t even have to pay for it. Apparently the good folks at Mervyn’s think it’s “funny” to widely distribute their customers personal information. Well rest assured, Nada Mucho places a high value on personal privacy, and we are not laughing at this serious issue. By the way, what in the world are you doing with the 27 pairs of white cotton panties you purchased last month? Bowel problems? – GB)

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