Q: Are you going to answer it?
A: No.

Q: Have you ever spent the day in a Turkish police station being questioned about being in an auto accident without an International Driver's license or any form of ID?
A: Yes.

Q: What was that like?
A: More interesting than this interrogation.

Q: Why are you being a jerk?
A: Will you restate the question?

Q: No.
A: And I'm the one being difficult?

Q: How many jobs have you had?
A: 24

Q: Do you consume carbohydrates?
A: No, not right now.

Q: Why not?
A: Because not eating those things will make ya skinny, and I want to
be a hunk. My wife likes that.

Q: Why did you go to Bible College?
A: To study the Bible.

Q: Are you really a Reverend.
A: That wasn't a question. It ended in a period.

Q: If you are a pastor, then why would you want to associate yourself
with a group of people who seem to be so determined to be offensive?
A: Let's see... I love music, I like to write, and said group of people are very funny. But back to my theological defense: I don't think I'm Jesus or anything, but the man didn't flinch when the self-righteous religious leaders of his day got pissed off because he hung out with tax-collectors and prostitutes, and Matt IS kind of like a tax-collector now that I think about it... Finally, I like to contribute now and then because the Senior Editor is my nephew. If you're still concerned about my well-being, please visit my website: www.hellno?heavenyes!.com

Q: You can't force your religion on me!!!
A: Ya think?

Q: What's your favorite band?
A: Duh. The Afghan Whigs.

Q: I have to go now.
A: Me too.

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