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Five Ways to Get More Ass for Less Cash

Posted by July 8th, 2003 No Comments »

By Reggie Gilmer, Tokin’ Pimp
1) Never go to a club before midnight. That way you won’t spend as much money on the club’s over-priced drinks. Most bars close at 2 a.m. and an hour or so is more than enough time to find some trim. In addition, by midnight the girls at the club are more likely to have their drink on.

2) Never buy a girl a mixed drink unless there is a special. Beer is almost always cheaper than a mixed drink.

Nada Mucho presents:
5 Ways to Get More Ass for Less Cash

By Reggie Gilmer, Tokin’ Pimp

1) Never go to a club before midnight. That way you won’t spend as much money on the club’s over-priced drinks. Most bars close at 2 a.m. and an hour or so is more than enough time to find some trim. In addition, by midnight the girls at the club are more likely to have their drink on.

2) Never buy a girl a mixed drink unless there is a special. Beer is almost always cheaper than a mixed drink. So instead of asking a girl what she’d like to drink, always say something like, “I’m going to the bar, would you like a beer?” This forces her to answer “yes” or “no.” Very few women will respond with something like, “No, but I’ll take a Lemon Drop”, especially when they’ve just met you. Of course, do not offer to buy her a drink until you’ve talked to her for at least five minutes, otherwise you look like too much of a player. Also keep in mind that most girls come to the club because whatever man they are with is too broke to take them out. It’s never a bad idea to offer to buy a girl a beer.

3) Before you go out on a date, or go out lookin’ for some tail, JERK OFF! ** This is important for two reasons. One, men tend to make stupid money decisions when they’re horny. And two, if a woman senses you’re horny, it’s a green light to drain your wallet and move on. Women like men who play hard to get, that’s why they marry assholes.

4) Don’t waste your money on a fancy ride. A true player can walk to the club and get some ass. If you need a car, get something that can get you from point A to point B but doesn’t drain your pocket book too much. Use the money you save to improve your “pimp shack.”

5) Invite ladies over to your “pimp shack” for dinner, drinks, and a movie. This is a cheap date with an 80 percent trim guarantee. Serve you’re date cheap wine in a nice glass, rent a movie (she picks), and prepare a cheap-ass dinner – cooking impresses the ladies immensely. If your culinary skills ain’t up to snuff, just get a bag of fettuccine and a jar of decent sauce. It’s as easy as Top Ramen, and if you can’t cook that, you don’t deserve any trim anyhow. Add a few leaves of lettuce and some fresh tomatoes for a salad and you got it made! She ain’t goin’ anywhere and you’ll probably get laid.

** This is the most important tip. If you take just one idea from this article, this is the one. Clean the pipes!


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