A few months ago, Nada Mucho made a small step towards legitimacy by purchasing business cards for 10 of its staffers. A couple months later, we conducted a short office poll to find out how the staff is actually using the cards. The results are below:

- Putting them in our "special private drawer" and forgetting about them until we move.

- Passing them out exclusively to people who already know and read NadaMucho.com.

- Making them into a card house/pyramid style deal.

- Writing other, more important phone numbers on the back of them.

- Using them as crank spoons and/or weed shovels.

- Fashioning them in to throwing stars, becoming ninjas.

- Using them as floor mats in Web Designer Mark Watters' dollhouse.

- Making flashcards for our upcoming sports trivia tournament.

- Making sure everybody has seen them and repeatedly asking "aren't they cool?"

- Using them as "emergency tissues".

- Giving ourselves paper cuts along our legs and arms in an attempt to deal with the ugliness and shame.

- Using them to build a paper mache' Sean Oliver action figure, which will most likely produce more content than the human version.

- Using them to cover up "accidents" on the carpet.

- One word: "Recycling"

- Fashioning homemade sex dolls.

- Entering entirely too many drawings for free lunches.

- Repeatedly showing them to other staff and saying "Hey, don't you wish Matt liked you enough to get you a business card?"

- Acquiring inflated sense of self-importance. No, wait…

- Leaving them in a pile on the floor of our car after the box broke.

- Using to cut lines of coke out in front of potential financial backers to show them "We mean business."

- While camping, leaving trail of cards behind on way out so as not to get lost.

- Filling up wallets in department stores.

- Spreading around apartment to give that "trashy" look.

- Filling every slot in business card holder with own card.

- Mastering ancient Chinese art of Origami.

- Floating on ocean. Walking to Guam. (0) Comments