A Labor Retrospective: Caleb’s Nine Best Jobs
1. Mainframe Records. Central District, Wash.
2. Nada Mucho. Seattle, Wash.
3. Backcountry Guide for Qwest Llamas. Mt. Adams Wilderness, South Cascades. Made excursions into the woods complete with llamas, kegs of microbrew, and hours of silence.
4. Merchandise Buyer for Silk Roads Imports. Portland, Ore./Turkey/Greece. Spent six hours in a Turkish police station for totaling a van. Turns out I didn’t have an “International License”. Or an “American” one. Also turns out the guy I was staying with owned the police.
5. Manager of Investigations for EarthLink. Seattle, Wash./Los Angeles, Calif./Atlanta, Ga. Caught child molesters, terrorists and other assorted baddies. Prevented the FBI from using Carnivore to spy on 5 million web users.
5. Restaurant Host, Mt Rainer National Park. Paradise, Wash. Appropriate name for that town.
6. Busboy at Big Sky Ski Resort. Big Sky, Mont. Morning rides in last night’s uncut powder an hour before opening. Meet at Gondola #1.
7. Director of College Ministries at the Pasadena Foursquare Church. Pasadena, Calif. Attempted response to the social irrelevance of the 21st Century American church through the development of small community-based groups.
8. Wireless Technician for Total Control Construction. Los Angeles, Calif. Hung wireless radios for broadband data network on light poles across the LA Basin. Bucket trucks are cool.
9. Substitute Teacher at Maranatha High School. Sierra Madre, Calif. I always wanted to be the “cool sub.”
Four (4) Worst Jobs
1. Lotboy for Powell Motors. Portland, Ore. Washed the cars, buffed the cars, spent tiny salary on one of the cars, watched one of the cars die after six months of use.
2. Busboy/Dishwasher at Elmer’s Pancake House. Portland, Ore. Caught the bus at 4:15 a.m. on weekdays to open the restaurant. Location of my first anxiety attack.
3. Ticketperson for Vista Theaters. Pasadena, Calif. One does not necessarily welcome every thought that is received once one has been standing still doing nothing for five hours.
4. Busboy at the Polo Club Restaurant. Portland, Ore. Didn’t make any friends. Couldn’t watch 1990 World Cup matches.
Twelve (12) Other Jobs that now strike me as neither good nor bad, presented in alphabetical order.)
Busboy at Old Spaghetti Factory.Portland, Ore. Location of the World Headquarters for this fine institution.
Carpenter for Kupersmith Construction. Coquille, Ore. My boss was a Jewish carpenter.
Cashier at Burger King. Milwaukie, Ore. Does McDonald’s flame-broil their patties? No.
Customer Service Representative for REI. San Dimas, Calif. Wilderness gear for 50 percent below wholesale! Still not a member.
Delivery Driver for Angelo’s Big Apple Pizza. Gresham, Ore. Received my first hint of an “obsessive/compulsive disorder” assembling and stacking pizza boxes of various sizes five feet high. They still look so perfect in my mind…
Finish Carpenter for Acrocraft Construction. Portland, Ore. God I love crown molding.
Landscaper for Sequoia Landscaping. Portland, Ore. “Best job I ever had. Working my way up, meeting people , listening to stories. By the way man, he was right…”
Periodicals Manager for the LIFE Bible College Library. San Dimas, Calif. Number one occupation for the ‘ol OCD. (Editor’s note “San Dimas High Football Rules!”)
Substitute Teacher at Foothill Christian School. Glendora, Calif. There was this one boy who got made fun of by the mean boys because he didn’t have a left arm. A few days later I saw him in the hallway with the mean boys and BOTH arms!
Youth Pastor at the Coquille Foursquare Church. Coquille, Ore. Ever lived with a taxidermist?