Not Rambling On, but Still Rambling
The Joys and Defeats of Downloading
By The Snizz
Recently, Nada Tech Guru Mark Watters finally came out and fixed my computer. This means I have a cable internet connection and functioning home PC for the first time ever. Since then, I’ve caught the music-downloading fever.
Have you heard about this trend? Apparently it’s sweeping the nation and has been for years. These kids and their technology.
This newfound power has allowed me to assign myself several compilation projects. Monday was Alt-Rock, or “Classic Alternative” or whatever you want to call it. (Sidenote: please don’t invent any more genres, I can barely categorize my mp3s as it is). Last night my endeavor was classic rock. Primarily 70s classic rock, which is, of course, the best kind.
After hours of hard work searching and downloading (aka stealing,) my project was done. “Snizz, you genius,” I whispered to myself as I proudly looked over the playlist.
Dr. Hook – “Cover of The Rolling Stone”
Thin Lizzy – “Boys are Back in Town”
Sweet – “Fox on the Run”
Foghat – “Slow Ride”
Norman Greenbaum – “Spirit in the Sky”
Bay City Rollers – “Saturday Night”
Three Dog Night – “Mama Told Me Not to Come”
Mountain – “Mississippi Queen”
Lynrd Skynrd – “Simple Man”
Cheap Trick – “Surrender”
Ted Nugent – “Stranglehold”
Slade – “Mama Weer All Crazee Now”
Bob Dylan – “The Hurricane”
Blue Oyster Cult – “Don’t Fear the Reaper”
Golden Earring – “Twilight Zone” (long version)
Rush – “Tom Sawyer”
I hit copy and went to bed dreaming of destination Rocksville. The next morning I grabbed the little treasure promptly at 6:30 a.m., got into my truck and slapped it into the old changer. Ignition! Magically I am transported back to a simpler time, a time of NFL jackets with vinyl sleeves and velour sweaters.
Then Thin Lizzy comes on and I rev Lil’ Red as I hit the 405 exchange. Yes! Yes! Yes! Don’t stop rockin’ I told myself. Before I know it, “ox on the Run” and its magnificent intro fill Red’s cab and it’s nothing but smiles as I remembered playing the 45 on my folk’s stereo. Possibly one of the first tunes to unsheathe my air guitar. What a great fucking morning.
I think my eyes even started to mist up at one point. I glanced down at my deck and the counter read track 10. Yes! Cheap Trick! Kick Ass! Hold on a sec. Is this an alternate version? I’ve never heard this intro before. Of course it’s one of those deals where an old rock band remakes (ruins) one of their classics for a comp album. I only wish this had been the case. It sounded an awful lot like a techno beat. And I know for fucking sure is that ain’t Robin Zander singing. What or who it was I’m not sure, but I can tell you it was a chick, and I can tell you that her interpretation could only be described as “terrible.”
“What the fuck is this!!!!” I screamed as I pounded the steering wheel. All my fucking work ruined because some dip-shit cunt mislabels an mp3 file? !
Although the rest of the CD was as glorious as you might suspect, my excitement and enthusiasm were gone. “This isn’t the disc I made,” I muttered as I pulled into work. I don’t even want it now. It’ll hurt my pride every time I have to skip track 10. Some lucky bastard at work is going to get a flawed bit of magic.
As I write this I vow to find the person who did this to me and, um, to never steal music from them again. I may even block them from my files. Probably not though, because it’s obvious they have a helluva lot to learn. Someday I may get past this. But not today. Not today.