Nada Mucho

Staff Feature: What we’re Doing with our Business Cards

Posted by July 5th, 2003 No Comments »

A few months ago, Nada Mucho made a small step towards legitimacy by purchasing business cards for 10 of its staffers. A couple months later, we conducted a short office poll to find out how the staff is actually using the cards. The results are below:

  1. Putting them in our “special private drawer” and forgetting about them until we move.
  2. Passing them out exclusively to people who already know and read
  3. Making them into a card house/pyramid style deal.
  4. Writing other, more important phone numbers on the back of them.
  5. Using them as crank spoons and/or weed shovels.
  6. Fashioning them in to throwing stars, becoming ninjas.
  7. Using them as floor mats in Web Designer Mark Watters’ dollhouse.
  8. Making flashcards for our upcoming sports trivia tournament.
  9. Making sure everybody has seen them and repeatedly asking “aren’t they cool?”
  10. Using them as “emergency tissues”.
  11. Giving ourselves paper cuts along our legs and arms in an attempt to deal with the ugliness and shame.
  12. Using them to build a paper mache’ Sean Oliver action figure, which will most likely produce more content than the human version.
  13. Using them to cover up “accidents” on the carpet.
  14. One word: “Recycling”
  15. Fashioning homemade sex dolls.
  16. Entering entirely too many drawings for free lunches.
  17. Repeatedly showing them to other staff and saying “Hey, don’t you wish Matt liked you enough to get you a business card?”
  18. Acquiring inflated sense of self-importance. No, wait…
  19. Leaving them in a pile on the floor of our car after the box broke.
  20. Using to cut lines of coke out in front of potential financial backers to show them “We mean business.”
  21. While camping, leaving trail of cards behind on way out so as not to get lost.
  22. Filling up wallets in department stores.
  23. Spreading around apartment to give that “trashy” look.
  24. Filling every slot in business card holder with own card.
  25. Mastering ancient Chinese art of Origami.
  26. Floating on ocean. Walking to Guam.

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