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We Wrote the Book on Connectors: the Snizz on Mustache Rock

Posted by April 24th, 2010 No Comments »

5 Minutes with The Snizz
Q&A with We Wrote the Book on Connectors

Seattle band We Wrote the Book on Connectors make absurd, amusing rock and roll music. They write songs about gothic dance parties,  mustache bears, vagina bombs and vegetable clocks. For one hundred and eighteen dollars, they will write and record a song about the topic of your choice.

Such odd behavior clearly qualifies them as excellent candidates for “5 Minutes with the Snizz.” How would you feel about Guantanamo Bay residents being required to listen to your albums? Would the reviews be positive? 
We Wrote the Book on Connectors: Our music would have the desired effect. It would swirl inside evildoers’ heads like an American flag ice cream truck tune that you can’t get rid of. In the end the joke would be on the USA, though, as a core part of our songwriting method is to veil a myriad of maximum security escape scenarios in lyrics about arms and chairs.

NM: That hippo on The Backyardigans sure dances suggestively, don’t ya think?
WE: Anthropomorphism in general gets our motor runnin’.

NM: If vampires can be sparkly, why can’t they be out of shape?
WE: Actually, the two are intrinsically related, and not just with vampires.  Nothing sparkly can be out of shape.  NOTHING. So you should become a vampire just to try to beat the system, kids.

NM: Which one of your songs would make me look the coolest on Rock Band?
T: Whoa, no promises.  Since there is no keyboard, you could mime that and be like: “What? There’s no keyboard? What am I supposed to do? I wish EA Games would get their heads out of their asses… (drink, drink).”

Backyardigans TashaNM: I have no feeling in my feet. There are the makings to a song there, right?
WE: Absolutely. A lot of the best material comes from pain, or the lack thereof.

NM: What comes to your mind when you hear the term “Hot Yoga?”
WE: Twister.

NM: Why doesn’t anybody use keyboard guitars anymore?
WE: People do actually, but Google censors the results unless you are in Hong Kong. You’re not in Hong Kong are you?

NM: No. Say, do you fear public toilets? I sure do. If so, how do you manage that on tour?
WE: Oh…my… god. That is exactly why we don’t go on tour. That’s the only reason. I can’t believe you brought it up.  Secret’s out.  We feel better.

NM: Did you know the original Green Lantern’s one weakness was wood?
WE: That’s crazy.  Sounds like the M. Night Shyamalan version.

NM: How do you think one of these pretentious douchebags writing for Nada these days would describe your sound?
WE: Nerd Rock Blip Pop Poop Rap.

We Wrote the Book on Connectors play Grudge Rock, a Family Feud Style Rock n’ Roll Game show, on Saturday, April 24 against At the Spine. The show is at the Crocodile.

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