Odes to Onanism: Best Masturbation Songs
Odes to Onanism (Or, “Songs about Jerkin’ It”) The bestest songs ever about masturbation By Paul Broderson I love masturbating. I masturbate at home. I masturbate at work. I masturbate…
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"Now With Less Suck!"
Blue Skies for Black Hearts: This Black Heart is Gonna Break
Todd Arkley – Here’s the problem. This Black Heart is Gonna Break works and doesn’t work. I became engaged with it, I loved it, I wanted to be its new friend from first to last track. Pat Kearns, credited with all the lyrics and music, knows his effects, his melodies, his pop, his emotions and his drugs.
Mark Lanegan: Here Comes That Weird Chill EP
Chris Clayton – When we were juniors in college, my friend “Gary” and I ate mushrooms and went to the zoo. Gary felt the magic first and laughed like a happy baby when a tapir (a hoofed mammal with a short, flexible proboscis) shot a stream of pee onto his Nike’s.
Alta May: Dark Days
Graham Isaac – While the basic concept of marrying heavy riffs and hummable melodies is not new, it seems there aren’t many bands at any given time that can do it. Sure, every shitty arena-metal band tries to lay claim to the territory, but generally they confuse heavy with pompous and melodic with brain-dead repetition or cloying melodrama.
Listmania: Bobby Bare Jr’s Top 5
Andrew Bird is the most talented person I’ve ever seen perform. I asked him once if it freaked him out to be able to do what he does with strings and his voice and he said, “No, I’ve been this good on violin since I was 6,” and he wasn’t bragging.
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